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When I saw Etrade's offer to fork over $175 for opening a checking account (the complete deal requires a direct deposit for 3 months plus use of their billpayer service), I said "let's sign up".

My wife took care of this. She signed up online. Oh, well, she was having some probles, the web site invited her to call them. She did. They took the application over the phone.

A few days pass. We get a notice in the mail. The notice says that one of our addresses doesn't match what one of the credit bureaus have on file.

So I take over. Call the 1-800-ETBANK1 (800-382-2651) number. Their annoying VRU can't understand simple English sentences. Worse, they're doing everything they can to keep you away from a live customer service rep.

Eventually, I get a person. After checking on the application, I'm informed that the problem is with my wife's address. I call up the two credit bureaus they reference. They won't let you talk to anyone either, but the credit report request procedure verifies the address. So it sure seems like all the parties agree on my wife's address, but Etrade just can't figure it out.... and we know that they've got the right address, because they sent the letter to her.

So I figure I'll apply online. No major problems as long as I don't use the back button, but I notice that they're only asking for a $100 initial deposit and they should be asking for a $1000 intial deposit. When I back out of the page, I get the following popup:

Can we help?

Call Us 24/7 at 1-888-983-4488

Do you need assistance finishing the online application for an E*TRADE Bank account?

We can help you complete the process in minutes—right over the phone!

Here's the recording I got when I called that number:
Thank you for calling. Etrade financial service employees are available to assist you every day from 7 a.m. to midnight Eastern Time.

Please call back to reach our automated phone services or you may also visit us online at http://www.etrade.com

Now that's what I call 24/7!


Topic EtradeBankingExasperation . { Edit | Ref-By | Attach | Diffs | r1.1 }
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Revision r1.1 - 08 Jul 2004 - 07:34 by AriannaM web search for AriannaM
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